Oh Naked Girl…Part 2

I almost don’t even know where to begin here. I am in awe of what has happened in society. I have people who very strongly disagree with me about nudity and think I am either a major prude, or plain old fashioned. I have my opinion, and although I am not always right, (Which my husband will too quickly agree with!), I do believe that society needs to take a step back and decide what we truly want.

fashion-1031469__340Recently Kim Kardashian posted a nude selfie on her Instagram claiming that she ‘just had nothing to wear’! How is this even something we do without cringing?! When I have nothing to wear, I end up sitting on my closet floor crying with half my clothes surrounding me. The first thought that comes to my mind is not to take a naked picture of myself and post it on the internet! I do wonder how somebody with a closet the same size as some people’s houses can’t seem to find something to wear. I can at least find socks and underwear!! Feminism has become extraordinarily embarrassing to us ‘regular’ girls. Now, if you want to walk around your house naked and you feel great about it, go for it. I have nothing against things like that, but when you decide that being naked in front of others takes precedent over how they feel about you being naked, that is a problem.

Another problem that we have, is that we are living in an over-sexualized world. We complain about being our inability to breastfeed in public, but how can we be upset with those who are uncomfortable with it when society has taught us that seeing a partially or fully exposed breast on its own is more normal than seeing a baby nursing a breast? We have been programmed by media and magazine covers that sexiness is partially or fully exposing yourself. I nursed my babies and I at times would go into the bathroom to nurse and sometimes I covered myself in a restaurant and nursed. I loved nursing my last three sons and it felt so natural and the connection I had was incredible. I recently saw a meme on Facebook that made me chuckle, but as I thought about it, I realized that I have an argument against it (But of course!). Cow nursing

It is funny, I admit it, but cows haven’t had years and decades of conditioning telling them that their udders are sexually appealing. The bull isn’t waiting to see the exposed udder so he can feel like he got a peep show! You may say that is ridiculous, but that is what our world has come to. An exposed breast is considered pornographic and no matter how much you lecture people how natural it is to nurse, it is going to take time to recondition people to think a different way.

Pornography is a big deal. Pornography has infiltrated the world like a violent hurricane and it leaves nothing but devastation in its path. The church has fallen victim to it as well as the world. It’s enticing and we begin to tell ourselves that different things are okay as long as we do this, or don’t do that. We are taught through television and books that sex isn’t fulfilling unless something else is brought into the equation like pornography, or other people, or any other sexual perversion. We are taught that being a conservative Christian who has been married to the same spouse for decades is unnatural and crazy, while believing you are of the opposite gender and cutting your genitals off is courageous and normal.

Moving on…pornography is something that brings guilt, shame, and embarrassment. It destroys marriages and it hurts more people that the one consumes it. It affects your spouse, it affects your children, and it affects every aspect of your life. Don’t think I am saying that seeing a woman breastfeeding leads to pornography. I am saying that instead of judging and criticizing, we begin to turn into a culture that isn’t so sexualized. Why don’t we celebrate women on the cover of the latest magazine covers? Why don’t we celebrate the woman, and not just her spectacular body?

And for those liberal feminists out there, power doesn’t come from being naked. You feel power because you feel like a man can look at you, but he definitely can’t touch you. That isn’t power. Feeling empowered is when you see your child helping another hurt child for no reason than to want to help. Feeling empowered is when you realize that you got that promotion because of your brain and NOT because of your body. You cry sexism all the time and demand that you be seen as smart and strong and capable, yet you continue to sell sex as your main qualification. Stop it….just stop it please!

Social Media Venting

I love social media. I am a stay at home mother and I currently homeschool one of my sons. I tell my husband that social media is one of my outlets to the outside world. The problem I have with social media, is the passive-aggressive attitude that many people take with it. I have multiple friends on different social media outlets that post all their private issues right there, for all to see. I am always bothered, when I see a spouse posting negative things about their husband or wife. Now I am the first to say I mess up, but I don’t like to grab my phone and frantically type out all my husband’s flaws on my facebook app after we fight. 

One of the problems with this is that eventually you may get over the fight and hopefully resolve it, but that isn’t the case for the many people who read about the issue. I have one friend who constantly writes posts after an argument. She gets over the frustration within a few days, but I find myself being irritated with her husband because of what she posts. I find that my opinion of him is swayed unfairly. It is also very manipulative. My husband should not be afraid to disagree with me because I may post something on the internet within moments of an argument. 

We need to love our spouses enough to keep our garbage off the internet. We get over things, but once that junk is out there, we can’t take it back. Now I understand we all have the right to say what we want on our social media pages, but do you really want people out there to constantly think negatively about your spouse? How about if roles are reversed and your spouse is constantly posting negative things about you? Maybe you show up to a party where each person has read everything that your husband posted about your latest fight and they can’t get past it. What would that feel like?

This may seem simple and harmless, but I love my husband enough to keep our garbage off the internet. If somebody has a poor opinion of him, I won’t like that, but I will sleep better at night knowing that it isn’t because of me. You can post what you want, but remember, once it is out there, you cannot take it back. Sharing with one close friend is much different than sharing with tens, hundreds, and even thousands of people via the internet.

 

Expectations

Even when you see that word; what does it bring to mind? We all have expectations. The problem comes when our expectations are unrealistic. When we get married, what do we expect from our spouse? Do we expect our husbands to always help with the house cleaning? Do we expect them to always meet certain financial requirements for us? Do we expect them to meet our every need regardless of whether they like it or not?

How about husbands? Do they expect us to always maintain a certain physical appearance? Do they expect sex at least once a day? Do we meet their every need whether we like it or not? 

Expectations are difficult for me. I put high expectations on myself, but is it fair to put those same high expectations on my spouse? When I said my vows, I said for better or worse, in sickness and health, rich or poor. That pretty much sums up what our expectations should be in our marriage. Through anything and everything, I will stand by you; because I chose you and I love you. Of course that doesn’t mean we should gain 200lbs in our first year of marriage and spend every penny that is in the savings account. Things happen in marriage; in life that make it difficult. That is what those vows are about. Those vows aren’t about standing by your husband, or wife, in those great easy times where it is literal bliss. Those vows are meant to help you when your husband loses his job because of downsizing; when your wife puts on extra weight because the baby she is carrying in her womb is causing so much nausea, all she can do is eat to make it not hurt; when one of you gets bad news at the doctor’s office. This is when those vows and those expectations are truly put to the test. This is when I expect my husband to stand by me; when my husband expects me to stand by him. Marriage isn’t about what we can get from our spouse. Marriage is about what we can give to our spouse; how we can serve them. 

What about all these expectations that we have in other areas of our life? Are those realistic expectations? What do I expect out of my church? One of the problems with our expectations in church, is that we expect to receive so much from our church. How many areas of our life do we expect to receive rather than give. 

Society has become all about me me me and what I want and need. Listen to how you talk to your spouse and your friends. Truly listen. Do you complain because your expectations are realistic, or are they so unrealistic that you could never possibly be happy. 

Be realistic with your expectations in every area of your life. Are you the person that you expect others to be? Be the person that God made you to be. Be who God expects you to be. He expects us to follow His commandments; I think that is a really good start. Love your neighbor as yourself. He expects us to love. So today, give His love away, because He freely gives it to you!