Just Doing Nothing

I am one of those people whose mind is constantly going; never stopping. I second guess myself all the time. I study for tests and even though I memorized everything I should, I find myself second guessing if I am really remembering it correctly. I listen to a sermon on Sunday morning and by that evening I fully believe that I am that person who has horrible motives and simply cannot be trusted to do anything! I don’t really know why I am like this, but I don’t want to be. I have found in the last few years, that I have second guessed myself into doing absolutely nothing. If I want to do something, I am ambitious. If I feel a need to do something, I have bad motives. 

I know there are times we all struggle with wrong motives, or become too ambitious in the church. If I am honest, I don’t think that is where I am at today. I have attained the position of, “I can’t do anything right; I am not right; I must be doing something wrong; I am thinking wrong; I have dreams that weren’t really from God.” The list goes on and on. I am sitting here just doing nothing. I realize I have become a person of extremes. 

I don’t want to put myself out there and make new friends because it will look like I am up to something. I keep quiet at church things because if I say that I want to sing or lead worship sometime, I must have bad motives. I feel like I have been in this place these last few years where I am actually missing out on life. That is not what God intended for my life. It’s not what He intends at all. He wants me to live life. He wants me to follow my dreams; the same dreams HE gave me. Now, I will follow the counsel of those wise people God put in my life, but I will no longer be afraid to live, to speak, to dream. I will no longer be the person that sits there just doing nothing. I will trust God and trust that I am in His perfect will. If I step out and fail miserably, He will pick me up and He will love me just as He always has because He is love. Don’t allow the enemy to steal your dreams or your life.

“The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but I have come that they may have life, and life more abundantly!!!!” John 10:10


I’m Leaving!!!

Imagine your kids, or someone else’s kids for that matter, stamping their feet, yelling and running to their rooms; slamming their doors. We roll our eyes. We discipline our kids when they throw tantrums. We sometimes ignore them to teach them that there are other ways to get attention. We assume that those children that aren’t ours, must never get disciplined. 

What do we do when this happens in the church? When people get mad or offended, they do the equivalent. They stamp their feet and they say they’re leaving because of this reason or that reason. The people leave hurt and the people left in the church are hurt. The Pastor/Head Elder is hurt because that is their child; their sheep. The church has lost a family member. Whatever happened to, “God sent me to this church and I’m not leaving, no matter what happens, until I wholly believe God and my leaders in agreement, send me elsewhere? 

When our children throw tantrums, it is out of rebellion and manipulation. In essence, what many people do in the church is the very same thing. Sure, we may not be slamming doors and stomping our feet, but we are acting in rebellion and manipulatively. We didn’t get our way, so we run to the door. That will teach them! If God wants us somewhere and we leave, we are acting in rebellion. Suppose I feel like I am going to get that Worship Leading position, and suddenly, the leaders of the church put somebody else in that position. How I react to this turn of events is going to show my maturity or lack thereof. If you don’t deal with your issues, you will keep following this cycle of immature reactions and keep hurting others as well as yourself. 

We need to be truly honest with ourselves and our issues. We need to understand our place in a church. If you think you deserve a position or something else in a church, then you don’t understand God’s word. If we got what we deserved, we would all be burning in hell. Good behavior and loyalty does not get you a position in a church. We, as Christians, have callings and giftings that God gave each of us. You may have a gift of worship and music on your life, but that doesn’t mean you are guaranteed that Worship Leader position. Perhaps you need to take your instrument or voice to the streets and be a Worship Leader there. 

We need to trust God and trust the leaders, as Fathers and Mothers, that He placed in our lives. We need to check our hearts and motives when we feel that little voice inside telling us we deserved something that we didn’t get in the church. If we leave churches because we always get mad, or don’t agree, we will soon become unteachable if we aren’t already there; and that is a very concerning place to be as a follower of Christ!