manipulative |

Captain Obvious Lives at My House

Posted on July 28, 2016 by fivesonsplusone

Social media can be a wonderful thing, but it can bring on a variety of behaviors that I used to think were saved for children. This is a huge election year and I know many of you may be surprised, but I have strong opinions about it! I have quite a bit of opinions and I generally like to base my opinions on history and factual evidence. To not sound arrogant, I’ve had to back track on some facts in the past and admit things were, in fact, false. I apologize to anybody who was offended when I wrote that Santa Claus was real, when apparently most people understood that he is not. Okay, sarcasm aside now.

We all have opinions and social media is a great place to say what you are thinking and to repost about informative topics. What I don’t understand is why people delete and/or block you when you post something they don’t agree with. I have all sorts of people who believe almost the opposite of what I believe, and yet in a surprising turn of events, I still call them my friends.

Why must we delete those who disagree with us?

I have been deleted often over the years. I generally wonder why, but recently I was deleted because of my race and another one deleted me because I called them out on posting false stuff (As pretty much all of their friends did because it was literally outrageous and this person should have known better!) I have been deleted because they believe the lies my mom is posting and rather than find out the truth, I get deleted. Is this what we have come to as adults? I definitely understand, Adulting is so hard.

I have deleted friends along the way. I went through a point where I had people I just never talked to and let’s be honest, sometimes we have grown so far apart from people, and to try to reconnect is like trying to warm up your bath water with your hot curling iron. You just shouldn’t do it because come on, that’s just stupid! [Don’t do that by the way. You’ll get electrocuted and probably die!] Man it’s so hard to stay on target today with what I am trying to say.

Okay, here’s my point. If you are using your delete button as a tool to teach somebody a lesson or to try to get at them, you are being manipulative. I don’t like to be manipulated. Nobody likes to be manipulated. Far too many people do little things, aside from social media, that are solely used to manipulate people. If you want something, just ask. If you are too afraid to ask and you think the next best thing is to throw out hints, rethink that. I am guilty myself of this and I need to work on it. My husband could probably tell you too many things that I’ve hinted at because isn’t it so much better if HE is the one who suggests picking up supper rather than me!? Sorry Honey!

I’ve been told to work on my sarcasm too. That’s a tough one for me. I’m pretty sure my kids think that somebody named, “Captain Obvious” lives in our house somewhere because I thank him a lot. I think I can be sarcastic as long as I am not hurting somebody’s feelings. Let’s not go too overboard here, if you’re just a big baby, sarcasm isn’t your enemy, your own arrogance is.

Wow, I believe this is the most all over the place post I have ever written, and I may have offended some people, but to be honest, it was a little fun to write, so it stays. If you don’t like it, then I guess you can delete me. [Please don’t! Seriously, please don’t do it!! I’m so sorry. I’ll go talk to Captain Obvious right now and tell him to move out!]

I love all my friends whether we agree or not on different issues. How boring would this life be if everybody agreed with everybody else. And to those of you frustrated with me and are still there, thanks for sticking around!

Social Media Venting

Posted on March 31, 2014 by fivesonsplusone

I love social media. I am a stay at home mother and I currently homeschool one of my sons. I tell my husband that social media is one of my outlets to the outside world. The problem I have with social media, is the passive-aggressive attitude that many people take with it. I have multiple friends on different social media outlets that post all their private issues right there, for all to see. I am always bothered, when I see a spouse posting negative things about their husband or wife. Now I am the first to say I mess up, but I don’t like to grab my phone and frantically type out all my husband’s flaws on my facebook app after we fight.

One of the problems with this is that eventually you may get over the fight and hopefully resolve it, but that isn’t the case for the many people who read about the issue. I have one friend who constantly writes posts after an argument. She gets over the frustration within a few days, but I find myself being irritated with her husband because of what she posts. I find that my opinion of him is swayed unfairly. It is also very manipulative. My husband should not be afraid to disagree with me because I may post something on the internet within moments of an argument.

We need to love our spouses enough to keep our garbage off the internet. We get over things, but once that junk is out there, we can’t take it back. Now I understand we all have the right to say what we want on our social media pages, but do you really want people out there to constantly think negatively about your spouse? How about if roles are reversed and your spouse is constantly posting negative things about you? Maybe you show up to a party where each person has read everything that your husband posted about your latest fight and they can’t get past it. What would that feel like?

This may seem simple and harmless, but I love my husband enough to keep our garbage off the internet. If somebody has a poor opinion of him, I won’t like that, but I will sleep better at night knowing that it isn’t because of me. You can post what you want, but remember, once it is out there, you cannot take it back. Sharing with one close friend is much different than sharing with tens, hundreds, and even thousands of people via the internet.