imperfect |

Perfectly Imperfect

Posted on January 16, 2015 by fivesonsplusone

I started another semester of my attempt at a college degree and I am taking a rather large workload. This works against my personality in so many ways. You see, I am a bit of a perfectionist. Getting a 100% at the end of the semester is the ultimate reward. I actually get disappointed if I get below an A on an assignment. Now, I don’t have a perfect 4.0 GPA, but it is still pretty high up there. I only say these things because I am trying to show a major flaw in myself….perfectionism.

Did you know perfectionism is most definitely NOT a good thing?! I have had to work on this in myself for probably the last couple of decades since I was even a child. I realize much of my perfectionism comes from trying to please a parent who quite possibly, I will never please, but it is still wrong. How many times have I redone something that my husband or my sons have done because it isn’t the way I would do it; which of course is the perfect way? I stress over coursework because I am afraid I will do bad and people may think I am imperfect. Well, there is another problem with perfectionism. It allows fear to have a foothold in your life. I have become afraid of being imperfect.

This is an ongoing process for me. I have to sit back and realize that I only need to do my best with school. I have a fantastic GPA and I feel like I am learning quite a bit; which is kind of the point! When I redo something that my sons have done, I am telling them that what they did isn’t good enough. I know at times kids don’t do their best, but often enough my boys work hard to clean something and I have to praise them for what they did and thank them. I don’t want them to give up because they think they will never measure up. When I redo something my husband has worked hard on, I am telling him the same thing…what he does just isn’t good enough; YOU aren’t good enough; YOU aren’t as perfect as I am. Sounds a little like pride too doesn’t it?

This is a reminder to myself just as much as it is to possibly help something out there. I can’t get stressed over one question wrong on a test. I don’t need to check and recheck household chores because I saw a speck of lint on my floor. Well, I may recheck my boys’ bathroom because, let’s get real, boys can be a little nasty!

Any comments to add to this? How do you find yourself buckling under the pressure of perfectionism??

White as Snow

Posted on January 30, 2014 by fivesonsplusone

I got to be a part of the snow in the south this week. It wasn’t new to me. I am actually from pretty far up north, where there it felt like there was snow year round and it was so very cold! It still makes me excited to see it and smell it and go outside with my boys and play in it. There is just something about that first snowfall when everything turns pristine white.

My boys make me laugh because as soon as it starts snowing, they are outside ready to built snow forts and have snowball fights. I keep telling them it takes a while for the snow to get deep enough to do those things. I love watching the drab ground and trees begin to gain this white beauty that only God could create. His beauty is breath taking and inspiring.

One thing that comes with the snow, is the melting of the snow. There is such beauty when the snow covered ground holds this perfection; but perfection is not real. Sometimes things may look perfect, but eventually, the snow melts and what was underneath is seen again. This imperfect beauty is allowed to shine through. That white perfection melts away and reality comes back full force.

We may try to cover our imperfections with this perfect looking appeal, but eventually, that goes away and our imperfection shows through again. God made us all so unique and imperfect. We need to try to celebrate our uniqueness. Too often I find myself trying to cover myself; to hide myself. The problem with that, is one day, somebody sees what is shining through underneath. Often times, we are blessed with people who see that shining through, and love you for it.

We need to try to be more Christ-like; and He is perfect, but that does not mean we change who He created us to be. What did He create you to be? What gifts did He freely give to you? Don’t cover it all up. Believe in yourself, because underneath all that exterior that you use to hide who you really are, is that beautiful person God created you to be.