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Liar Liar

Posted on January 14, 2016 by fivesonsplusone

desert-279862__180 Lies. They are all around us. I read about little lies and completely astounding lies that shock me.

I have a family member that lies in this way. She lies about everybody around her and needless to say, she doesn’t sleep well at night. Her lies were believed for many years, but thankfully, many around her are realizing that things just don’t add up. I have my moments of frustration and tears when I can’t handle the lies any more about me. I can’t handle the lies any more about my family and other loved ones. I want to put an end to it and I have tried. The only thing it got me was cut off from them and more lies topped with more lies.

“I don’t know how you keep things straight any more. Yes, there are those that believe you, and there are those that don’t know you, and therefore don’t know any better than to believe you lie. I get calls and emails and messages telling me how they feel sorry for you because your lies didn’t bring me down. They didn’t stop my living and they didn’t stop my moving on from you. Your lies don’t own me, Jesus does. You think you have taken people from me, but you have only brought me closer to them and my God.”

eye-609987__180 It can be a struggle, dealing with the never ending drama that comes with a person like this. I have my moments when I cry out to God wondering why this is happening and wondering how much longer it is going to happen. I believe I am an over comer and am praying for complete repentance for this person one day. I once asked my husband why it still hurts at times when I feel like I am totally over this betrayal. He told me that until this person either passes on, or repents, their behavior is a daily rejection of me. I have to fight lies and rejection!?

“I will continue to try to love like Jesus loves. I will pray for you and forgive you, but you have to change on your own. You have to be the person that God knows you can be. I can honestly say, I don’t really know who you are anymore. I’m not sure I ever knew you; the real you.”

Psalm 101:7 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁷He who works deceit shall not dwell within my house;
He who tells lies shall not continue in my presence.

If you have a loved one that lies and manipulates, or does worse; they hurt people including you, don’t be like them. Fight through the hurts and fight through the lies. Fight through the pain. Fight for a life free of drama, even if it means that you have to let go of this person. With God, you can do this. I truly believe that God has allowed me to live this life with this family member, so that I can help others. I want to tell you to be strong and to understand that God loves you like you can’t even imagine. His love is unfailing. We try to put God in this little box so that we can understand Him better. When you cried over people and lies and those things that hurt you so deeply you could barely breathe, God was wiping every tear. He sees you. He knows you. He understands you. He made you.

You cannot lie and love at the same time. God is not a liar, the devil is. You cannot hate somebody and love God.

1 John 4:20-21 New King James Version (NKJV)

²⁰If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can^[a] he love God whom he has not seen? ²¹And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

I want to be in Your Presence, God. I want to love like You love. Help us oh God!

$4.3 Million Baby!

Posted on January 12, 2016 by fivesonsplusone

Abe L 28284320 The internet tells us so many things. I can google pretty much anything and get information from one end of the spectrum to the other. I see so much stuff on Facebook and social media sites that gets my angst up, yet I need to do the smart thing and research it. It’s so easy to like something because we have an already formed opinion about it. When I see something bad about Hilary Clinton and her campaign, I automatically believe it must be true, because I believe she lies without thought, and is responsible for the death of American citizens. What I cannot do though, is automatically believe it. Politicians lie. They lie about each other as well as themselves. Republicans twist things, Democrats twist things. In their minds they believe it’s for the greater good. I think the best policy is to do your research on all candidates whether you read good or bad things. Why do so many people believe things at face value?

Power ball

I believe too many of us have become lazy. We want everybody else to do the work for us. We would rather believe something, good or bad, than to do a little bit of research. Take for instance this Power ball Lottery; there is the meme going around on how everybody gets $4.3 million dollars if somebody would just share it with all Americans. In fact, it may work out to $4.33 and that is before taxes! It’s so important to look into things and study it out.

It works the same way with our Christian walk. Maybe this blog is all for me, but I know I have had times where my main Bible reading is when the Pastor has me open up my Bible to a specific scripture during a church service. I can’t wonder why I have struggled throughout the week when I haven’t even opened up my Bible to study and do my research.

We need to turn to our Bibles more often than Google!

I’ll be honest, I love Google. Google has grown so immensely, that it has actually been added as an English language word. Google helps me cook. Google helps me with my education. Google helped let me know that I was truly in labor with one of my sons. Google even helps me find specific scriptures for some of my blogs. Google helps me with a lot of things, but it does not give me life.

Hebrews 4:12 New King James Version (NKJV)

¹²For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

The Word of God is refreshing to my soul. It is powerful and strong. The Bible tells us the truth; always. There is no need for fact checking with the Word of God. As you read it, you grow in faith.

2 Corinthians 5:7 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁷For we walk by faith, not by sight.

We walk by faith when it comes to the Word of God, but don’t be naive and believe that everything and anything is the truth outside of the Bible. Study your Bible. Understand when things line up with the Word of God and when things do not. Always be humble and always be in the Word of God. His Word will never let you down!

Sea of Testosterone

Posted on January 7, 2016 by fivesonsplusone

I love my boys and am so honored to be their mother, but seriously boys are hard to raise. I am one girl, in a sea of testosterone in my house. I have days where I think I may get more out of training the cat to be respectable than them. (Even while the cat is licking his rear end!) I can’t tell you how many times I have asked my husband if I truly have sound coming out of my mouth! Boys are seriously gross, like SERIOUSLY! I have actually banned myself from cleaning their bathroom. I refuse. I am pretty sure that if I ever have to spend more than a minute in their bathroom, some sort of wormhole will open up and swallow me whole and boy, won’t they feel silly then!

Boys may be gross, but at the end of the day, I realize that those gross beings are all mine. They embarrass me to no end, but imagine how boring my life would be without them. I can’t imagine a tolerable restaurant scene with five boys all behaving. At least, not anymore! I always promised myself that I would be real with my kids. I think at the time I envisioned my preppy son sitting there doing algebra by the age of 3 while I gently combed through my beautiful daughter’s long, luxurious hair as I hummed quietly to myself.

Seriously though, I do try to be real with my sons. I teach them that the world can be difficult and people aren’t always nice. I teach them that the Bible is the truth even when the world tries to tell them it’s just an old, out-of-date book. I teach them that not all girls will be nice girls to them. I try to teach them about love and respect and how to get back up when life knocks them down. I teach them that God is first in their lives no matter what.

Boys may be weird to me, but I know at the end of the day that God knew exactly what He was doing to give me five of these guys. I may get frustrated with them, but when I make them laugh hysterically at my bathroom jokes, I realize that I may be the weird one after all.

I love you boys.

PS~I seriously hope that is chocolate on your light switch!!!

Trusting in God

Posted on December 31, 2015 by fivesonsplusone

Today is yet another cloudy, rainy, gloomy day where I live. It can be so easy to feel down and wonder if I’ll ever see the sunshine again. frosty-472871__180 Roads are flooded and time is ticking by with it’s steady slow pace. Why does it always feel like time goes so fast when you are able to enjoy the sunny and beautiful days, yet those rainy, cloudy days drag by so slow?!

russia-289575__180 Life’s trials and struggles feel the same way. At times we wonder where God is in them and feel like this trial will never end. Just like we have an understanding about the sun always shining, even on cloudy days, God is always with us, no matter how alone we feel. Sometimes our own sorrows and feelings cloud our judgement of where God is, or even who He is.

We begin to question Him and we make him like us; mere humans. We are made in God’s image, yet we try to make Him in our image. We give Him our imperfections. We put our own doubts and insecurities into a box we have made for who God is and we question why, when, where, how long? We have no doubt that the sun is still shining on the other side of the clouds. We have no doubt that the Earth is still rotating on its axis, yet when we are going through something tough, we lose faith.

We need to have more faith in our Almighty God than science.

God is always with us. He allows us to go through trials and tribulations because we grow and mature. If we fixed everything our children went through so they didn’t make any mistakes, they would never learn. God wants us to study His word and pray without ceasing so that when that next trial comes, we do not waiver. We will stand strong and trust who He is. We won’t question Him.

2 Samuel 22:31 New King James Version (NKJV)

³¹As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

Lord forgive me for not fully trusting in You. Help me to keep my eyes on You and not on my circumstances. Thank You for Your grace and mercy and guiding me in spite of my imperfections.

People Fail; God Does Not

Posted on December 18, 2015 by fivesonsplusone

I am so excited. I was promised something and cannot wait. Then, the promise was broken. What do I have left but heartache and frustration? What do I do when a friend or family member lets me down?

I have been so excited for years with prophetic words I have gotten about worship. Five years ago I get the most amazing word and it excites me and renews me and fills me with me with massive amounts of hope. Then my family and I follow the command of God to move and my excitement turns to frustration as I hit a brick wall. This is no little wall. This is a wall that cannot be moved or broken through. I cannot go around it or over it. I am stuck….alone….facing this wall.

Hello, God? Are You there?

People; well they can be disappointing. It is sad but true. People we think we can count on; family we believe we can count on. Well, the first think I have had to realize is that we are all imperfect and we all make mistakes. I need to humble myself and take an honest look into my life and see all those times that I have let others down. Did I do it out of spite, or anger, or laziness? No. Most of us don’t do that. Things happen in this life. Events come up that are out of our control. If we turn our focus off ourselves, we can see that. We begin to realize that perhaps that person who let us down, was literally made to make a choice where one party would be hurt. The best thing we can do in this situation, whether we feel justly hurt or not, is to have compassion on that person. Yes, they let us down and broke a promise, but at what cost to them? How would we want to be treated in the same situation? I sure wouldn’t want somebody to become bitter and distrustful.

What do we do when we feel like God let us down? First of all, God will never let you down. Sometimes we may feel frustrated and wondering what is going on, but God is always in control. God knows the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning.

God doesn’t leave a project incomplete!

All these last five years were so difficult and I struggled and fought with that wall in front of me, but I truly learned so much. That wall made me look inside myself more than I ever have. That wall made me deal with things that I needed to deal with. I won’t tell you that this was an easy process and that I didn’t cry to my husband many times struggling with feeling unwanted and like I had no gifts to offer anymore. I constantly wondered if I really had any anointing or talent. I think sometimes God is watching me like I watch my kids getting so close to conquering something and then just missing it. “Oh man, they were so close!” Believe it; God is rooting for us to succeed.

Finally I get it. I have made my worship to God, all about me….again! Oh Lord forgive me….again! I spent those years worshiping in my room and writing some songs that were only for worshiping my King. It was just Him and me, and sometimes my sons would come in to dance or bang on their own keyboards and guitars. I treasure that time with God.

When you feel disappointed in man, give them a chance. Always remember that you too have disappointed others. Don’t become bitter or angry about it. When you are struggling with where God is, give Him your heart. Talk to Him. Let Him speak to you and search your heart. Let Him heal those wounds and strengthen you when you are going through your trials. Instead of being frustrated and trying to find a way out, look to the One who knows exactly what He is doing and trust Him.

Smiling Through the Pain

Posted on December 17, 2015 by fivesonsplusone

As we are in the holiday season for 2015, there seems to be joy and happiness all around. The air is filled with excitement and we see Christmas decorations all over the town. I see smiles and laughter pretty much everywhere.

christmas-bauble-15738__180

One thing that is at times difficult to remember though, is that many hide their pain behind a smile. Too many people still fight depression and sadness that oftentimes lead to drastic thoughts and measures. This message is for those who have lost hope and feel so alone they don’t even have the strength to go on.

God will never give up on you!

I hold many secrets from my childhood. I hid my sadness and loneliness behind a smile much of the time. I struggled with a parent who, looking back, doesn’t know or understand what love is. They used control and manipulation in ways that are exhaustive even to the imagination. I longed for love and acceptance so strongly that even throughout several years of my life, perfectionism was my friend. I beat myself up if I wasn’t the best at things. No longer was this parent the only one telling me what a disappointment I was, I was telling myself. I thought in my inner most being that if I was good enough, that parent would be proud of me finally. I became my own worst critic; even beyond the criticisms of that parent. I felt so worthless and alone. Many times I considered ending it all. No child deserves to feel unwanted or unloved.

I remember I used to sit in my room crying, feeling desperate and hopeless. I knew who God was as a child, but I didn’t understand how His voice was always prompting me to hold on. I always felt something telling me not to lose all hope. I want to tell you right now, don’t lose hope. I realized that I was living out this scripture.

Psalm 39:7 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁷“And now, Lord, what do I wait for?
My hope is in You.

Our hope is in Jesus. He saved me not only on the cross when He died for me, but He saved me each and every time my thoughts went in that direction. I realized that there is a lot to live for. I now have a wonderful husband and five amazing sons who give me so much joy. I constantly tell them how much they are loved and how proud I am of them. I always tell them they will never be too big or old for my hugs and kisses. woman-571715__180

I began to believe that maybe one day, I could be there for other women who have lived through similar situations. My childhood was never a complete disaster, but I have overcome enough to understand what true, Godly love is and what is not. I still get surprised when someone is either sent to me or comes to me about something very similar. I can’t forget that God has brought me through to the other side. I have overcome this and you can too.

I Corinthians 13 (NKJV)

⁴Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;⁷bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸Love never fails.

If you know somebody or are the person who feels alone. God is with you. Even if you don’t feel like He is, He is with you. He said He will never leave us or forsake us. We have trials and tribulations in this life and some feel so difficult to overcome. We feel helpless and alone. We may feel betrayed by close friends or family. We may feel angry and hurt. We may feel even much more, but we need to give it all to God.

If you feel God tugging on you to go speak to somebody that you haven’t in a while, do it. If you see somebody on the street and feel something inside of you, let them know God loves them and they are not alone. Call up an old friend or relative and tell them not to lose hope.

I love you. Jesus loves you. Don’t let a difficult situation or life allow you to take your eyes off of Him even for a moment. The Bible tells us that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Our enemy will never stop trying to deter you from finishing this race. Don’t give up. Reach out to somebody. Find a Pastor or a church in your area and talk with them.

Share this and add your church address to the comments if you are willing to help somebody understand that this isn’t the end; it’s only the beginning!

Dead Grass

Posted on December 9, 2015 by fivesonsplusone

vertrocknetes-grass-1051004__180

As I sit here looking out my windows at my street, I see mostly browning lawns. Down the street though, I see a couple of lawns that are still green. This makes me chuckle when I see people trying to extend the life of their summer grass. I live in a community where most people have the sod that goes dormant over the winter months. Some people fertilize and add whatever they need to the lawn to maintain the lawn’s life. Once it goes dormant it becomes dry and brittle and it gets stuck on everything.

As I think about this though, I think of how many times in my life I let things go dormant. We fight for that green grass to stay longer. We fight time in order to look younger. We fight for causes we believe in like gun rights, or the rights of babies in the womb.

What about our spiritual life? How often do we quickly give in to the enemy. We decide to just go dormant for a while and see if he leaves us alone. We give up our fight because we are too tired, or feel alone, or aren’t sure how to fight. We struggle and at times, wonder if God is even there.

2 Corinthians 12:9-11 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁹And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

When we are weak, that is when God can use us. When we are strong is when we think we can do it all by ourselves. God doesn’t want us to do it by ourselves. He wants us to rely on Him. He is our fertilizer. He gives us whatever we need to sustain spiritual life. His word gives us hope, and peace, and life. Paul begged God to take the thorn in his side. Paul determined that he would rather boast about his weakness and distress so that the power of God would rest in him.

If you are feeling like going dormant today, be excited because God’s power is in you. His strength is what you need and you have it. Keep fighting and don’t ever let the enemy allow you to think it’s okay to go dormant. Persevere!

Romans 5:3-4 New King James Version (NKJV)

³And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; ⁴and perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Garbage Day

Posted on November 30, 2015 by fivesonsplusone

Today is garbage day in my community. I watch those big garbage trucks come with their huge claw arms, grab my garbage bin, lift it to the top of the truck, and empty its contents into it. There are some days when we have packed the bin so full of trash that the guy has to attempt some sort of bounce maneuver to get all of the trash out, but it all comes out. I’m left with empty bins that I get to fill up all over again throughout the next week.

garbage bins-538316_960_720

Once that garbage is gone, it’s gone. This is a no regrets type of action when we put that bin on the street. We pay our fee to the city to get rid of our trash. They take our trash out to a landfill and eventually, bury it. If you realize you threw something away that you want or need back, it is nearly impossible to find that item in a massive landfill.

When we ask forgiveness from God, it’s like He is emptying our garbage bin, but with God, there is no landfill; and there is no fee! When we repent, and He forgives us, and there is not even a remembrance of our sins.

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The enemy would like us to believe there is a giant landfill and we need to rush out to it and pick all our garbage back up. Why do we do this? God forgives us and wants us to walk in complete freedom, yet instead of giving it all to God, we either hold some back, or we search out our past sins and put them back in our ‘bin’.

Galatians 5:1 New King James Version (NKJV)

5 Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free,^[a] and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.

God loves us and wants us to walk in complete freedom. When the enemy reminds you of your past sins, take those thoughts captive.

2 Corinthians 10:5 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁵casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

As we walk in maturity, we understand who God is more and more. We understand that God isn’t the one always reminding us that we messed up in the past. When the Bible tells us that the devil is here to steal, kill, and destroy, we must understand that he will use whatever means necessary. He will plant thoughts in your mind. He will remind you of past failures. He will make you fearful to ever step out in faith. He will do anything to destroy your peace!

Philippians 4:7 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁷and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I challenge you today, give your garbage up. God is a big God and He loves you so much. He doesn’t want you walking in bondage holding on to everything from your past. Today is the day you will begin your walk in complete freedom.

“With God, there is no landfill. He truly erases our sins.”

Thank you God!!

Use Me

Posted on November 18, 2015 by fivesonsplusone

bucket-and-sponge My kids are always asking me (usually in a whiny voice!) why they have to do something that I ask them to do. They also like to find the loopholes in what I say as well. Maybe one day they will be accountants or lawyers! Anyway, I tell them they need to clean up after themselves. So next time I ask them to clean something, they let me know they did not make that mess and therefore, should not have to clean it. Then in my best Mom voice, I remind them that if that were the case, our house would be unlivable because after all, I don’t make that much of a mess. I also remind them that God asks us to work hard and do our best no matter what we do and how much we may dislike it.

Colossians 3:23New King James Version (NKJV)

²³And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,

I believe there is purpose in everything that we do. If you work at a job you dislike very much, perhaps there is a purpose in you being there. I believe that no matter what we are going through, God is not shocked. God is omniscient. When I ask my kids to do something, I realize that they may not clean it as well as I want it to be done, but I am teaching them something. When they say, “I want to help. I want to do something.” I am more than happy to accommodate their wishes. They are very rarely happy when it is something they don’t enjoy doing.

In this same way, when we beg God to use us, how many times do we get frustrated when we get asked to serve in little jobs? I know I haven’t always had a good heart when it comes to doing things I don’t like doing. As we grow and mature in Christ, we learn to serve with a joyful heart. God asks us to do things like tithing and giving and serving with joy. When my kids serve and help each other without my asking them to, that is when I see their maturity growing. When I see them doing things just because, that is when I want to reward them.

Luke 16:10-12Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁰“He who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; and he who is dishonest in a very little thing is also dishonest in much. ¹¹Therefore if you have not been faithful in the use of earthly wealth, who will entrust the true riches to you? ¹²And if you have not been faithful in the use of that [earthly wealth] which belongs to another [whether God or man, and of which you are a trustee], who will give you that which is your own?

podium I think sometimes when we cry out for God to use us, we are actually asking for a platform. Use me Lord because I know I can preach better than this man or woman. Use me Lord because I know I can lead worship so much better than this person. We must be faithful with the little to get to the bigger things. How often are we frustrated because we don’t get to speak in church? How upset do you get when somebody else gets called on to do what you feel called to do?

Search my heart God. Help me to be a loving, giving, and joyful servant. Help me to work hard each day no matter what I am to do. I thank You for Your loving kindness. Forgive me Lord for all the times I have not had a pure heart and have not served with joy.