I have a great life. I love it. I get to be home with my boys. I get to attempt to be a good cook and most of the time my family eats it; my husband always eats it. What a good husband! I have been blessed with so much more than I deserve. That is the kind of God I serve; I deserve not even close to what He gives me. 

The one thing I have never had, is a house. A house to call my own. A house to decorate and fill up with children. A place to make memories. We have had 7 places to live since the conception of my firstborn. We have wonderful memories in each of those places; don’t get me wrong, but it was always temporary. I am a woman who needs security. I think most women do if they are honest with themselves. Even though we have moved often in the past, my husband has bent over backwards to help me feel more secure. 

Over the years there have been multiple times we were going to buy our house. Something always happened where it just never happened. We want to save up money and 5 kids later, we still rent. I love to daydream and hope one day I will have my house. I realized these last few years however, that the hope I once had, has all but left. I want to hope, and I know there is a sliver still there. I was texting my husband the other day and I told him, “I am afraid to hope”. No. I am actually afraid to fail, to be let down, to once again feel that disappointment.

That sure doesn’t say much about me and my faith. I have put all my faith in man and my circumstances; not God. My God is my provider. He is Jehovah Jireh. God gives us hope. If we don’t have hope, we aren’t believing who God is. 

So today, looking forward I will have hope. I will have faith. I know that God is faithful and He loves me. God knows the future; we don’t. I don’t need to worry or lose hope because He has always taken care of us; no matter where we live. One day, hopefully in the near future, God will reveal to us what He wants us to do, where He wants us to live, when He wants us to do things etc. 

Don’t forget who God is. Don’t make the same mistake I have made. Always believe; always hope; always dream; always love; always have faith, because that is how God made us to be.