believe |

If Only

Posted on February 19, 2014 by fivesonsplusone

If only. Two words. If only I could pass this test, then I would be happy. If only I could get this raise, life would be so much easier. How many times over our lives have we used those two words? I use those words as if something is improbable; out of reach; impossible, but fun to think about.

I am always humbled and truly amazed at the faith of the woman with the flow of blood in the New Testament. She used those words; if only. She used those words in the most powerful way. If only I can touch the hem of His garment. If I could just touch the a piece of clothing that the Son of God wears, then my whole life will change. I will be healed. If only….

It literally brings me to tears that she only wanted to touch His clothes. She didn’t want to bother Him. She fought her way through the crowd to touch His clothes. She understood the power and authority that Jesus walked in. Wait; hold on a minute. Didn’t Jesus say that even greater things we would do than He did?! So that means, WE have that same power and authority that Jesus has. My if only’s need to grow in faith. My God is the creator of the universe! He is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. He has time for everybody and everything. I shouldn’t be wishing for enough money to pay my bills. I should be understanding Who I worship and serve. I should understand that I have full power and authority to completely believe as the woman with the flow of blood did.

How do I do that? Pray without ceasing. Worship Him in good times and bad. Get in His word and stay in it. Don’t give up and understand who you are and who He made you to be!! He loves you!!

Hope

Posted on January 22, 2014 by fivesonsplusone

I have a great life. I love it. I get to be home with my boys. I get to attempt to be a good cook and most of the time my family eats it; my husband always eats it. What a good husband! I have been blessed with so much more than I deserve. That is the kind of God I serve; I deserve not even close to what He gives me.

The one thing I have never had, is a house. A house to call my own. A house to decorate and fill up with children. A place to make memories. We have had 7 places to live since the conception of my firstborn. We have wonderful memories in each of those places; don’t get me wrong, but it was always temporary. I am a woman who needs security. I think most women do if they are honest with themselves. Even though we have moved often in the past, my husband has bent over backwards to help me feel more secure.

Over the years there have been multiple times we were going to buy our house. Something always happened where it just never happened. We want to save up money and 5 kids later, we still rent. I love to daydream and hope one day I will have my house. I realized these last few years however, that the hope I once had, has all but left. I want to hope, and I know there is a sliver still there. I was texting my husband the other day and I told him, “I am afraid to hope”. No. I am actually afraid to fail, to be let down, to once again feel that disappointment.

That sure doesn’t say much about me and my faith. I have put all my faith in man and my circumstances; not God. My God is my provider. He is Jehovah Jireh. God gives us hope. If we don’t have hope, we aren’t believing who God is.

So today, looking forward I will have hope. I will have faith. I know that God is faithful and He loves me. God knows the future; we don’t. I don’t need to worry or lose hope because He has always taken care of us; no matter where we live. One day, hopefully in the near future, God will reveal to us what He wants us to do, where He wants us to live, when He wants us to do things etc.

Don’t forget who God is. Don’t make the same mistake I have made. Always believe; always hope; always dream; always love; always have faith, because that is how God made us to be.