I am so excited. I was promised something and cannot wait. Then, the promise was broken. What do I have left but heartache and frustration? What do I do when a friend or family member lets me down?
I have been so excited for years with prophetic words I have gotten about worship. Five years ago I get the most amazing word and it excites me and renews me and fills me with me with massive amounts of hope. Then my family and I follow the command of God to move and my excitement turns to frustration as I hit a brick wall. This is no little wall. This is a wall that cannot be moved or broken through. I cannot go around it or over it. I am stuck….alone….facing this wall.
Hello, God? Are You there?
People; well they can be disappointing. It is sad but true. People we think we can count on; family we believe we can count on. Well, the first think I have had to realize is that we are all imperfect and we all make mistakes. I need to humble myself and take an honest look into my life and see all those times that I have let others down. Did I do it out of spite, or anger, or laziness? No. Most of us don’t do that. Things happen in this life. Events come up that are out of our control. If we turn our focus off ourselves, we can see that. We begin to realize that perhaps that person who let us down, was literally made to make a choice where one party would be hurt. The best thing we can do in this situation, whether we feel justly hurt or not, is to have compassion on that person. Yes, they let us down and broke a promise, but at what cost to them? How would we want to be treated in the same situation? I sure wouldn’t want somebody to become bitter and distrustful.
What do we do when we feel like God let us down? First of all, God will never let you down. Sometimes we may feel frustrated and wondering what is going on, but God is always in control. God knows the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning.
God doesn’t leave a project incomplete!
All these last five years were so difficult and I struggled and fought with that wall in front of me, but I truly learned so much. That wall made me look inside myself more than I ever have. That wall made me deal with things that I needed to deal with. I won’t tell you that this was an easy process and that I didn’t cry to my husband many times struggling with feeling unwanted and like I had no gifts to offer anymore. I constantly wondered if I really had any anointing or talent. I think sometimes God is watching me like I watch my kids getting so close to conquering something and then just missing it. “Oh man, they were so close!” Believe it; God is rooting for us to succeed.
Finally I get it. I have made my worship to God, all about me….again! Oh Lord forgive me….again! I spent those years worshiping in my room and writing some songs that were only for worshiping my King. It was just Him and me, and sometimes my sons would come in to dance or bang on their own keyboards and guitars. I treasure that time with God.
When you feel disappointed in man, give them a chance. Always remember that you too have disappointed others. Don’t become bitter or angry about it. When you are struggling with where God is, give Him your heart. Talk to Him. Let Him speak to you and search your heart. Let Him heal those wounds and strengthen you when you are going through your trials. Instead of being frustrated and trying to find a way out, look to the One who knows exactly what He is doing and trust Him.
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